Sunday, February 25, 2007

Too retarded to use a PC?

I hate Macs. I honestly do. Is it due to problems I've encountered using my own Mac? No, I don't own one. Is it due to problems encountered while repairing my customers' Macs? No, I have never had to service a Mac for one of my customers... of course, that's not much to say, considering nobody owns one of the damn things. Actually, short of a few units at the local college, I can't say I'm aware of anyone in the area that actually owns one.
So, why the hatred for an animal that it quite foreign to these parts? I hate gross ignorance, and gross ignorance is the only reason any normal home consumer would buy one. There are only a few reasons why anyone should ever buy a Mac in today's world:

  • You're already in too deep: Your organization is already highly committed to Mac hardware.

  • It's industry standard: Certain industries are already committed to Mac, even though it may not be optimal.

  • You're exceptionally stupid: This one will get me heat, but it is the God honest truth. If your excuse for buying a Mac is that "Windows is too confusing," then this is for you. The Windows interface has been so dumbed down, it's often aggravating to have to dig through all the idiot proofing to make any large changes. An Etch-a-Sketch has a simple interface too, but that doesn't make it better hardware than a PC. If you are honestly not bright enough to grasp the basic functionality of a modern Windows OS, and you are firm in your beliefs that the problem is with the system, and not yourself, then, by all means, pay the "idiot tax" and get a Mac.

Fifteen to twenty years ago, it would have been a different story. Macs actually had better hardware. Macs had a truly better interface. The higher cost was justified. Today, you're paying a significantly higher price for hardware no better than a PC's from a company that is coasting on past glory and current trendiness (sorry Apple, I'm not an iPod mark either). This article from OSNews does a great job of chronicling Mac's descent to its current state.
Of course, I always like to mention the inspiration for my rants, and this time it was the new Mac commercial shooting on Vista's User Account Control (for the sake of simplicity, think Zone Alarm). Did the commercial attack it because it was problematic? Of course not! It was attacking the UAC for being INTERACTIVE! Yeah, God forbid it asks a user whether to allow/deny things initially in order to set up a basic rule set. Seriously, how do they expect it to work without some level of interactivity? Perhaps a different design could allow certain basic things, and deny everything else. Of course, this would annoy users who actually want to do something in the "everything else" column. Thus, there would have to be a way to manually configure rules, and users certainly can't be expected to do that either. Another option could be to just allow everything unless a rule was manually set to block it. This also requires the user to set rules manually, and if they set no rules, there's no point in even having the damn feature.
Like all of these Mac ads, this one is short sighted, and should only be convincing to those who really don't know any better. Sadly, the idiot masses are convinced. They believe that Macs have fewer viruses (you heard me, FEWER, not NO) because they have better security, and not because they have a ridiculously small market share and hardly anybody cares to spend the time to build viruses to attack Macs. I would like to see one huge, concentrated viral attack directed at Macs just to put them in their place.
Of course, what aggravates me most, not just about these commercials, but Mac fanatics in general, is how they seem to believe that the only thing you can run on a PC is Windows. Pretty much every attack is directed at Windows, not the actual PC. The bulls*** is so deep that many of them complain that a PC is junk, but then say they have the best Mac ever, and they are running Windows in an emulator on it or are dual booting Windows (if they have a newer Intel Mac). It's pure idiocy, considering there's a far simpler and more rational solution: buy PC hardware and install Linux. Install an emulator and run a virtual Windows install, safely encapsulated away from your main OS, or simply dual boot Windows. If you're a complete Mac mark, install an emulator to run OS X, although I can't imagine any usefulness for this. How is dual booting Windows next to Linux on PC hardware any different than dual booting Windows with OS X on Mac hardware? With the PC hardware, you're getting essentially the same thing, a stable OS coexisting with Windows, for a ridiculously lesser amount of money. Factor in the flexibility of Linux, including custom distributions specifically made to do certain tasks, and it really doesn't make sense to buy a Mac unless you fall into one of the three categories listed at the beginning of this rant.
Of course, it's your money. Waste it where you want. I'm just promoting common sense.
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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute
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For more entertainment, check out Battle of the PC and Mac Fanboys!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

F*** You

If you've read my material for long, you'll know that occasionally I'll get in the mood for a good ol' fashion, off the wall, often somewhat exaggerated, crazy rant. It's due.

F*** you, Colts. Enjoy having fans while you can, but just know that as soon as you go back to sucking like usual, you'll be back to only three people giving the slightest rats ass about you. Then, Manning can have a good cry, and that will be it.
F*** you, Bears, for inexplicably making it to the Superbowl without even having the rudimentary athletic skills of a Special Olympics Yahtzee team. You're an embarrassment to Chicago, which is itself an embarrassment to Illinois. Therefore, you've earned the title of double embarrassment. Lets see if Grossman can manage to have that intercepted by the Colts. F*** you for being embarrassing, and f*** you for taking the spot of a team that could have actually beaten the Colts (such as the aforementioned Special Olympics Yahtzee team).
F*** you, Eddie Murphy. Why in the blue holy hell do you have to play every f***ing character in every movie you make? Why do half of them have to be in a ridiculous fat suit? You've worn the hell out of both gimmicks. STOP IT!
F*** you, stupid people, my old, not so wily foes. F*** you for making the rest of us dumber by association. F*** you for reproducing faster than the intelligent people. F*** you for existing.
F*** you, stupid forum posters. You couldn't spell your way to a first grade graduation, and are too lazy to read any forum post over one sentence long, but somehow, think you know everything about everything and, due to this omnipotence, have the only answer that anyone will ever care about, conveyed to the worldwide internet audience in a sub-literate, brain-dead grunt. F*** you for either having a ten second attention span or not having the ability to read more than a sentence. F*** you for entering a thread after twenty posts, asking a completely unrelated question, and instructing someone to immediately email you a solution. Most of all, f*** you for speaking derogatorily of those who create longer, intelligent, well thought out posts. Those "essays" are far more valuable than anything that ever meandered its way out of your cobweb infested craniums.
F*** you, morons who label songs incorrectly. Every country song ever created was not done by Garth Brooks. Every 80's hair metal song was not done by Poison. F*** you for not having common sense or the ability to use Google and Wikipedia. Also, drunken karaoke covers of popular songs should never be labeled as done by the artist who produced the original track. F*** you for being idiotic and wasting everyone's time.
Finally, speaking of morons, f*** you, Will Ferrell for being Will F***ing Ferrell. I challenged you in a previous rant to:

Make a movie without running around in your underpants? How about two in a row? How about KEEPING YOUR FREAKIN' PANTS ON IN EVERY MOVIE FROM THIS POINT ON?
You couldn't even handle one, could you? You even went as far as to do it in a movie where you costarred with that dumbass from Napoleon Dynamite. Why don't you two go pick up Gracin, hop on a rocket, and blast off to planet Obscurity so the people with brains won't have to see you anymore, and the people without brains will stop buying the trash you peddle. Then you can run around in your underpants to your heart's content.

Ah... that was refreshing.
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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute
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R.I.P. Anna Nicole. I dedicate this insane, rambling entry to your memory.