A Call to the Lia Show that Would Never Air

Lia:	Hello, what's your name?
Cray:	Howdy Larry. My name's Cray.
Lia:	Hi Cray. It's Lia, actually. Where are you right now?
Cray:	Sorry Lou. I'm at Dana in Hennerson Kittuckey (spelled as pronounced by locals)
Lia:	Have you ever called in before?
Cray:	No, but I listen to your show every night...
Lia:	That's great...
Cray:	...but not by my own choice. Some jackass keeps changing the radio to a station that carries your show, WKDQ, which I think stands for We Kill Dykes & Queers... but that might just be Jon Prell. I think your show absolutely sucks. You play terrible music, you're annoying, and the people that normally call in seem to be idiots.
Lia:	Wow... umm, ok...
Cray:	...I mean, you have the uberpatriotic lemmings, the lovesick puppies, and the mildly retarded. You're their freakin' hero or something. It amazes me. I don't get it at all.
Lia:	Umm... thank you? Well, umm, thanks for calling in Cray, we'll be moving on later because we have Keith Urban...
Cray:	Oh, you mean how you pretend like you're interviewing someone that did a prerecorded interview? Yeah, that sucks balls too.
Lia:	Uhh...
Cray:	Oh, one more thing, can you play David Allan Coe's "The Rodeo Song?" Thanks bitch. I'm out.

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Big Cray: Accept No Substitute